Misinformed Middle-Aged Man

28Nov11

It started with the current RTE Guide Magazine with ”R-Patz” and “K-Stew” on the front and my Dad, holding it says to me, “They’re both ugly aren’t they?”. I asked him did he know who they were and he said no. I told him that they were stars of the one of the world’s biggest movie franchises and he says, “Well I wouldn’t be watching any of that shite.”

The ignorance that comes with middle age in relation to modern culture is HIGHLY amusing as I experienced in a single day, that is today, when hanging out in the family home. Aside from being blissfully unaware in what is going on with the youthful world he made some other ridiculous comments that I will also list below.

When dramatically miming to Abba’s Winner Takes It All (I’ll make no apologies) he looks at me dead-pan and comments: “You should be on stage.” I inform him of my unpleasant singing voice and he says, “Well you can sing in tune. It’d be very entertaining.”

I decide to make him a sandwich for lunch: cheese, tomatoes, toasted.

“You’d make a great housewife, are you putting in onions?”

“No, no onions, do you want onions?”

“No, it’s okay.”

Whilst eating the sandwiches the mother appears, “How are the sandwiches?”

“Great. No onions though.”

I must have been offered tea every two hours. He justified it by informing me that some of the lads in work drink “seven or eight coffees a day!”

I was playing some tunes. Republic Of Loose’s “I Like Music” came on, “What is he saying? I like muesli? Do you like muesli?”

A quaint rendition of The Offspring’s hit single: “Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh, and all the girls in town say I’m something something something….”

Amy Winehouse: “Pappa said I gotta go to rehab but I said no, no no…”

“If you’re having girl problems I feel sorry for you son. I got 99 problems and a bitch ain’t one.”

“As long as I don’t end up on The Twitter I’m okay”